I listen to my own self

I have no idea what to blog about but I want to get at it again.

I have been incredibly moody/cranky/negative the last several weeks and I'm not really sure why. I have just really been struggling to feel happy or joy and anything in my life. My birthday was last weekend and it was nice. Heber sang Happy Birthday to me several time (he love to sing that song and will sing it whenever the mood strikes). I also got a new camera. We ended up getting this one:

I haven't taken much time to figure it out but I will post pictures as soon as I get a chance to take some.

Kids are growing and learning like they do. Heber's new thing (as of the last month or so) it to take everything possible out from where it should go. Then, in all his three-year-old attitude, he completely refuses to put anything back away. I have not idea what to do about it but it is making, Ben, my mom, and me all crazy. Yesterday  he took every book and toy out of the shelf in his room and put it all into a big pile in the middle of the floor- this happened three or four times! It is really getting ridiculous and it is such a huge fight to get him to even help put things back away.

Anyway, so I was talking to Heber about this and about how it is helpful if he listens to Mom and Dad so that we can all feel happy in our home. I told him it would be good if he could be better about listening to me. He looked at me and said "I just listen to my own self." I didn't really have much to say about that but it got me thinking about the value of listening to your own self. This is something that I really struggle with. I have such a hard time taking time to do what I need for myself. I feel like I am at work away from the kids all day and they need me whenever I am home. It is hard for me to put time to take care of myself. Yet I know that when "I listen to my own self" I am happier and then have the means to take better care of everyone else.
So... here's to listening to my own self so that I can get out of this rut of crankiness and negativity.

Now any ideas on how to get Heber to stop taking absolutely everything out of everywhere or at least get him to put it back away? I some day I just want to get rid of everything and be done with it. I think this weekend I will at least work on getting rid of some of the stuff and I think that will help. 

Happy Halloween

Ok, these are a bit late. I was planning on posting them earlier but never did... And since I have a goal of posting once a week and I haven't thought of much else to write about.... so this is what you get.

We dressed up for a family party the weekend before Halloween and then never ended up do anything on Halloween. We had a busy day and decided for a quiet evening at home. The costumes were simple and I was able to sew them in just a few hours.

my little lady bug

My puppy dog. Heber picked out what he wanted to be and was so excited about his doggy costume. 

His favorite part was the tail. He kept says "I have a tail, and Angle (my parent's dog) has a tail too"

This week I have been baking lots of yummy food and trying to take a slower pace. My house -especially the kitchen- is a huge mess but who cares really. I am doing what I want to do and not worrying about the rest. This weekend I hope to get Eeva's knitted dress done and start a sewing project for her birthday. I can't believe this little angle is almost 1. She is very close to walking and is starting to say a few words. How did she get so big so fast?

What are your plans for the weekend? Does anyone know how to get it so my pictures don't have a border? I have tried editing the HTML to say border=none but it is still there.

Busy

Why do I feel like I always have so much to get done? Sometimes I feel so busy it is completely overwhelming. I run from place to place as fast as I can to get more things done. Doing, going, rushing. I have a to do list that I constantly keep (either in my mind or on paper) of all of the things that need to be done: dishes, laundry, grocery store, meal planning, library, LLL, sewing project, knitting, .... it can go on forever.

What is this mindset of business that I always seem to have? I don't think it is necessary or even important. A few days ago it occurred to me that being to busy with so much to do was not making me feel fulfilled or even happy. I was so grumpy and cranky, yelling at my kids and whining to Ben. I was miserable! This was not a new revelation to me but it was a much needed reminder to slow down, enjoy life, be happy. 5 years from now, I won't think back to this time when my kids are so little and say "oh how I wish I had a cleaner house, or I wish my dishes were clean." I'm sure I won't care about that at all. Instead I will wish I had taken more time to play, to laugh, and to love. I will wish that I had cherished and soaked in every moment when my babies were little for it only last such a short time. I want to stop being to busy. I want to stop doing things that make me overwhelmed and stressed. I want to forget all of the to dos and instead do the things that make me happy and fulfilled.

My usual self would say "What is wrong with me" but I resisted. On Tuesday I went to a workshop on Emotional Intelligence and learn many things. On of the most useful things I learned was to resist asking "Whats wrong with me" and instead as "What can I change". So I put this to the test. Being a list maker, I made 2 lists: "Things that make me happy" and "things that don't". I noticed that I wasn't doing anything on my "things that make me happy list." No wonder I was so miserable. So I decided to make a simple change- Do more things that make me happy and less things that don't. That is exactly what I did yesterday and it worked wonder for me. I took the kids on a little hike to trow rocks in the stream. I enjoyed taking pictures while the kids played in the leaves and water. It was so refreshing and I feel so much happier. It's funny how easy it is for me to get stuck in a rut of miserable living and how a simple change can make such a difference for me and everyone around me. My new goal for the next... well forever really... is to do more things that make me happy and less things that don't. I will put this up on the fridge along with my lists as a reminder : ).

Hope you all have a happy weekend full of things that make you happy.